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Divorce and Remarried Families

Everybody knows that divorce is horrible and life changing, but it is hard to really understand divorce without experiencing it; it isn't something someone should want to experience either. Divorce affects everyone-- the wife, husband, kids, parents, siblings, employers, friends. After such a life altering event, how do you recover? First, lets go over the top 3 reasons people file for divorce, they are: 1. Infidelity 2. Money 3. Lack of communication I think that a part of divorce, is that in your heart, you want to make it work, but something inside of you feels you can not. Trust is lost, commitment decreases, and relying on each other is no longer a desire. On this blog, I have already discussed infidelity, money, and how to effectively communicate, so I hope you AT LEAST know how to avoid error in these three things. COMMUNICATION IS KEY. I cannot stress enough how big a role communication has in dealing with marital issues and arguments. Once the divorce is final ...
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Life's Greatest Calling

One of the hardest, and most important things we will ever do on Earth is create and raise children. I hope I have made it clear the past 12 weeks, that children are essential and that we should not delay having children. The children today, are our futures tomorrow. On this blog I have covered how to date, courtship, communication in dating/marriage, preparing for marriage, the importance of marriage, and sexual intimacy; so the only logical thing to cover next is raising children. I can not tell you HOW to raise children, but I can tell you what it is children need to thrive. There are five needs I am going to touch upon. While there are many, many, MANY more needs, I feel these are the ones many parents don't always recognize. The first need is: Need for contact and belonging When a child is not receiving enough contact or he feels as though he doesn't belong, what does he do? He seeks undue attention. Those who are seeking undue attention, usually come off as "an...
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Recognizing the Importance of Fathers

In a world with increasingly more feminist movements, men are becoming more and more insignificant in the eyes of the media. Sadly, it isn't uncommon for men to be ignored, looked down upon, or easily forgotten. People tend to forget, however, that you and I are here because of MEN and women. This simple concept has been a fact of this world since its creation. Today I want to stress the importance of men, and in particular, fathers. Startling statistics about homes with absent fathers really helps to describe the tremendous impact fathers have on children. For example, 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes-- 5 times the average. And a startling 80% of youths in prison come from fatherless homes-- 20 times the average. These are only a couple of the several that were detected through research. (The link to these facts, and much more, is at the bottom of the page) It is clearly evident that fathers have a huge impact on family life. While these statistics focus more on...
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Using the 5 Secrets

We have an innate drive to communicate with others, yet we struggle to do so each and every day. Think about that. Why is it so hard to talk to those around us? If it is an innate desire, why doesn't it just come naturally? Communication can come in four ways: Verbal  Non-verbal Written Visual Learning how to effectively communicate in any form, is highly important. A study researching the most common way people communicate to others found that 14% of communication is through words, 35% is through tone, and 51% is non-verbal, and of course, written and visual communication are also evident in daily life, but were not apart of the study.  So what does this mean, is this good or bad? Honestly, I can not answer that question for you. All I know is that, personally, I think verbal communication should have a higher percentage. It is sad that verbal communication is only 14%.  Being able to communicate, in the right way, is important in your education, your career,...
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Family Stress

How do you feel RIGHT NOW? Are you stressed? I know I find myself feeling stressed  every single da y, but did you know that with out stress, you, and your existence in this world, is in danger? I certainly didn't know that until about two days ago--it makes me feel justified in my stresses. ;) However, excessive amounts of stress and anxiety is not good. Stress can cause acne, headaches, stomach pain, lack of energy, depression, digestive issues, and even cause a rift in your relationships. This week I have thought a lot about family stress in particular. How is family stress different from someone's individual stress? Well, first, family stress effects multiple people. It also might change how family members act in every day activities and decisions. Stress that you feel within a family also means that you aren't along in your feelings and you have many people around you who can empathize--together you can work through your difficult times. Individual stress can be mor...
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Marital Intimacy

Last week, I told those who are not married to start preparing for marriage. Prepare mentally, by knowing the conversations you should have before marriage and recognize the challenges you might experience with your future spouse. One of the challenges I mentioned was sexual intimacy. Now before you click the red X on your computer, hear me out. I understand that talking about sex can be scary, and for most people, it makes them quite uncomfortable, however, it is highly important . If it wasn't important, it wouldn't be as talked about. Today, I want to make it clear that I will not be talking about sex in a vulgar way. Marital intimacy is private and highly cherished. It is scientifically proven, that men have an innate sexual drive much stronger than women do. It has been this way ever since the creation of man. Because of this, many men are portrayed as "pigs". In a healthy, open, marital relationship, this "pig comparison" could not be further from...
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More than "Just a piece of paper"

Nothing worth having comes easy. Throughout my life I have had the opportunity to witness a lot of marriages. I have seen the good and the bad. The fun and the scary. I have never been married myself, but the experiences I have gained throughout my life give me a sense of what I want a marriage to look like. I get that it is scary and unknown, but as I was thinking about what I could do to prepare now for marriage, I thought about my expectations. What did I think a happy marriage looked like? What did I see myself doing? How did I act? Would it be hard to acclimate to this new way of life? Would I be the perfect wife and have the perfect husband? Today, I'll tell you exactly what I think marriage should be like. First, let's start off by looking at the dictionary meaning of the word marriage. The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines it as: "Being in the state of matrimony of or relating to marriage; united, joined. While I agree with this definition, I also think marriage ...
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